Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Driver Distraction

“License and registration, please.”

“I have them right here in my purse, Officer. I wasn’t speeding was I, ‘cause I’m pretty sure I just was right on the limit. I’m always very careful about that.”

“No, M’am, I didn’t pull you over for speeding. Insurance please.”

“Oh. Good, well, I didn’t think I was speeding – is it a tail light or something?”

“No, your tail lights are just fine M’am. You are aware of the new laws about driving while being distracted? They recently came into effect here in Ontario.”

“Oh, yes, I saw that on the news. But I wasn’t using my cell phone. I never talk on the phone and drive, and I don’t even use the GPS unless I’m parked somewhere.”

“Well M’am, there are a number of items that the government says are too distracting to have in the car. There have been many accidents and several fatalities, so we have to enforce these new laws, and there's a no-tolerance policy regarding this situation.”

“But, Officer, I don’t know what you’re referring to – I wasn’t using the phone, or the GPS – I don’t even have the CD player on!”

“I’m fully authorized to confiscate all such objects that are causing driver distraction. Such objects will be held at the police station until you can prove, in a court of law, that you can operate your vehicle in a safe and non-distracted manner. At that time, should the court rule in your favour, said object will be returned to you. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I get that, but I don’t get what object you are saying was causing the distraction. My phone isn’t even out of my purse!”

“I’m sorry but it’s clear to me that you were very distracted when you made several wide turns back there, and then you only came to a rolling stop at the last stop sign. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to hand over that baby. It’s simply too distracting to have with you in a vehicle while you are driving. You can retrieve it in a few months by the process I’ve already outlined. Then I’ll have to ask you to clear this area – you’re obstructing the flow of traffic.”